My brother taught me

I’m Amy, I’m 19 and I live with my mum in Shepparton, Victoria.

I get up and make breakfast. There are times when I help her get dressed in the morning. I make sure she has lunch, and then at night,  make sure she has her medicine. I’m also a carer for my grandfather. He has seizures. He doesn’t actually live at home with us, so sometimes I have to drop what I’m doing and go see him to make sure he’s okay.

I’m all over the place. There are moments when I feel in control and moments when that’s been taken away. On a good day, my grandfather and Mum don’t need to go to the hospital. I’m able to do stuff for me. On a bad day, my mum is having a moment and is really depressed and can’t move. Or she’s really elevated and manic, and I have to try and stop her doing something. I’m her whole support network, so I have to be there all the time.

I’m studying at TAFE, doing hairdressing and make-up. My goal is to one day live over in South Korea and work as a beautician. I love K-Pop.

Mum’s been sick ever since I was a child. But for a while my brother was looking after her. Then he left and moved to Sydney to do uni and I had to step in. I had to drop out of high school to look after Mum. That was the start of my caring role.

Back when I was in high school, there were periods where I didn’t go to school because I was looking after mum. Then I returned after a long absence I explained to a teacher about my caring role.  He actually turned around in front of everyone and said, “That’s no excuse. You’re a wagger”.’ Looking back, I wish I’d stood up to him. Know your rights too. They can’t discriminate against you because you’re a carer. Not every teacher’s going to be like that. A lot of them genuinely want to help. Find those teachers and ask if they can help explain where you’re coming from.

In the early part, when my brother was around, I watched him look after mum. How he handled being a carer. How he talked to doctors, and stayed calm, at least most of the time. Having my brother around meant that when I became a carer, I didn’t have to start from nowhere. I was able to grow by looking at him, and learning from him.

Other stories

Inner suburb confessional

I’ve been my mum’s carer since I was 15. But even before that, I remember late night emergency room visits, and feeling more pressured to take on household responsibilities. My mum has mental health issues, and as of February this year, was technically medically dead. See, for the past 18 months before February, mum had […]
Read full story

It’s hard work

I’m a young 14-year-old that has been a young carer for 2 years, let me tell you it’s hard work. My mum has spinocerebellar ataxia now they limit my mum from doing a lot of things and let me tell you it’s hard for me. I have to wake up every day and see her […]
Read full story

My role as a young carer

Hi, my name is Hannah and I’m a young carer for my mum and my two brothers. My hobbies include sewing and crafts. My normal day would start with get up, get dressed, help mum pack lunch and help get my little brother dressed and ready for school. After school I would come home eat […]
Read full story